Dealing With Rejection: 4 Tips for Freelance Writers

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Years ago I lived on a very small island with a total population of under 500 people.  Living in a place where everybody knows your name is wonderful. There are also downsides. One of them is that anybody showing romantic interest in any other body cannot keep it a secret.  If you get rejected, the entire community knows and there will be a whisper and smirk campaign that lasts until the next piece of island gossip replaces your debacle.

Basically, it’s like high school but this time you can’t blame acne for your unpopularity. From personal experience, I can say that getting rejected by an editor, feels almost the same.

Thanks to the internet, the feelings that accompany rejection can now be spread through social media and a digital record kept forever.  No wonder, so many would-be writers never press “Send” on their query e-mails. After my first query rejection, I didn’t write another query for TWO years. How do you get past the negative feelings? What does or doesn’t work? Read on.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Platitudes and Affirmations

Platitudes like “Get over it” “It’s all in your head”, “Nobody knows or cares”, are all true, but meaningless.   Have you ever tried to tell someone with a fear of roaches, “They can’t do you anything”? Does it work? NO, and we all know why!

 

Similarly, affirmations don’t work nearly as well as we are told they do (least not for me), and neither does meditation. Why? Affirmations only provide the scaffolding for beliefs, not actions. Actions cement into place your beliefs, either yours or someone else’s. Meditation does calm and focuses the mind, but few creatives think about or visualize what can go wrong. Visualizing what to do when things DON’T go as planned is more powerful than fixating on what ‘should’, happen. In both affirming and meditating, you’re still inside your head. (Keep reading to see why this is a problem)

So, what does help?

 

Get A Coach

The best way to get somewhere is to follow the instructions of someone who has been there before you.  Just as in business or sports, finding a person who explains the steps to success, encourages you along the way and provides support when necessary greatly improves your chances. Having a clear  understanding of what the editor expects, and how to tailor your writing for a particular market decreases the times you’ll hear an editor e-mail you, “We’re sorry but this doesn’t fit our publication.”

Carol Tice of the “Make A Living Writing” blog and “The Freelance Writers’ Den” website gave me the guidance needed to not only improve my freelance writing skills but also my business communications and presentations. If you need a coach, I’d advise you to visit her sites.

Volunteering

“What!” I don’t have time for myself, much less the problems of other people.” Hear me out.

We are more likely to harm ourselves, physically and mentally when we get trapped in our own heads. Sometimes, we have to get out of our comfortable self-pity and out of our writing spaces to gain a broader view.

This year I’ve decided to help two young men with understanding finances and other important life lessons.  Am I an expert? Definitely not, but I do know some of the pitfalls that they will encounter.  How does this help me? The only way to answer is with this old saying, “I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet.”  A dose of perspective does wonders for the psyche. Science has proven that helping others, makes us feel better about ourselves. 

 

Gamify

For most of us, freelance writing is not a life and death struggle ( It does feel like it sometimes) but, it can be made into a game. Using queries and LOI’s is the fastest ways to make money as a freelancer but they are also the most painful because of the number of rejections.  My solution is to reward myself for rejection. I will only buy another videogame when I reach twenty rejections. Is that number is too low, maybe, but I had to start somewhere. if I don’t get rejected I get the job,  but if I do get rejected with my pitch then I get to play.  Feel free to substitute Ben & Jerry’s (or your particular vice) for my videogame.

Accept and Understand

Here is a quote from the book, Rejectionproof by Jia Jiang

“Rejection is an Opinion: Rejection is an opinion of the rejector.  It is heavily influenced by historical context, cultural differences, and psychological factors.  “There is no universal rejection or acceptance.”  

Conclusion

Welders get burned, electricians get shocked and woodturners inhale carcinogenic dust, (how do I know this?). Just because we have chosen to work with words, does not mean we live risk-free lives.  Getting rejected is just a part of being a freelancer.  Keep writing and keep pitching but before you go let me know in the comments what writing strategy you intend to implement first.

I’ll see you in the print magazines.